Monday, March 4, 2013

Confessions of a Substitute Teacher

Students think you're downright oblivious and stupid.  Yes, I see you cheating. Yes, I know you know I know. {I didn't lose anyone there, did I?} Yes, I'm leaving a note for your teacher.

Students think you're deaf.  I was in a middle school class several weeks ago, and the students were working on math worksheets.  I had my computer with me and I was checking SubFinder for any recently posted jobs, and I heard across the room, "I don't care...she's just over there playing on her computer anyway." I look up at the kid and said, "Oh, that's all you think I'm doing?" And he said, "Oh, you heard that?" I said, "Yep, sure did." And his response was, "Oh, I guess I better be more careful." Guess who was also a problem student throughout the rest of class?

Students think you're "so much nicer than Ms. So-and-So." Well, I'm sure Ms. So-and-So is also really nice, but when you guys NEVER stop talking, anyone would eventually have to get angry and start marking tallies by your name on the behavior chart. {Yes, I DO know how to fill out the behavior chart.  Your teacher leaves me instructions for everything.}

Students will try to tell you the rules are different.  YES, you have to do your work. Why? Because I said so. {And because your teacher left me extremely detailed lesson plans on what assignments need to be done, along with assignments labeled "extra work" for those of you who fly through everything else in order to play on the computer.} Plus, if yo udon't do it, you'll receive marks by your name on your behavior chart....and I know you don't wanna even go there.

Students think you know everything their teacher does. Big fat negative.  I was subbing for a history class recently and some of the kids were asking me specific questions.  I finally just had to say, "It's been far too long since I learned all of this stuff to be able to remember any of it!" History was never my strong subject in school, so a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when I took my last history class during my first semester at Longwood.  What's done is done.  I get it, it's important, but no offense, my brain kind of doesn't care.  Plus, I'd much rather go to Monticello or walk around D.C. than read from a textbook.

1 comment:

Lori Vann said...

When I was subbing, I preferred high school. I tried middle school, but being pregnant could NOT handle them! They put me in a high school math class in the one school I typically subbed in the most. The kids started asking questions, and all I could think was "Coach Tyler would be so disappointed" I had to straight up tell them that I failed high school math, that I would try to help them - but wasn't promising anything!